Mar. 9th, 2020 05:06 pm
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rebelscumfatherThere had been a lot of moments of adjustment in his life lately. If he’d stopped to think about how much that his life differed now from how it had a year ago, he might have wondered if he had lost his mind. Yet, the funny thing was, it all made perfect sense to him in the way that it had played out.
Dating Leia had become engaged to Leia very quickly. Engaged to Leia had become Married to Leia even quicker than that. The decision to start a family from there had been almost immediate. And while Han wouldn’t admit to hearing the tick of the clock, having gotten so late into the whole being married thing, the thought of it had crossed his mind. If they waited too long they might have trouble. They might have trouble now, for all he knew, but if they held off a few years? He was gonna be an even older dad and that seemed like a daunting prospect. The thought of that was terrifying enough already.
Those thoughts turned over in his head while he shuffled through the market. It was a grocery store that he knew had both a well stocked pharmacy and a sandwich shop, which would allow him to bring home both of the things his wife had asked him for: a pregnancy test and onion rings. He had spent so much energy thinking about how to handle finding out if the test was positive and then, how to handle finding out that the test was negative that he had forgot the crunchy fried food that his wife was craving entirely. (Though he did turn back to go get them.)
When he got back to the house, which still wasn’t entirely unpacked from them moving in, he called out simply. “I’m back.”
Dating Leia had become engaged to Leia very quickly. Engaged to Leia had become Married to Leia even quicker than that. The decision to start a family from there had been almost immediate. And while Han wouldn’t admit to hearing the tick of the clock, having gotten so late into the whole being married thing, the thought of it had crossed his mind. If they waited too long they might have trouble. They might have trouble now, for all he knew, but if they held off a few years? He was gonna be an even older dad and that seemed like a daunting prospect. The thought of that was terrifying enough already.
Those thoughts turned over in his head while he shuffled through the market. It was a grocery store that he knew had both a well stocked pharmacy and a sandwich shop, which would allow him to bring home both of the things his wife had asked him for: a pregnancy test and onion rings. He had spent so much energy thinking about how to handle finding out if the test was positive and then, how to handle finding out that the test was negative that he had forgot the crunchy fried food that his wife was craving entirely. (Though he did turn back to go get them.)
When he got back to the house, which still wasn’t entirely unpacked from them moving in, he called out simply. “I’m back.”
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Leia had taken a brief leave following their purchase of the house, ample room for the two of them and some additions, and it seemed they got started on working for the additions before unpacking. She remembered with something of a blush their first night in the house. The bed wasn't even assembled just mattress and box spring against the wall. How Han had come up behind her while she was sorting out things and completely distracted her by kissing her neck.
She'd been a mess, hair up under a kerchief, old worn tank top and cut off shorts. She had to have been a sight, yet he was as arduous as he had been their first night together. When She laughed about their being no place to have such a rendezvous he'd just reached out a hand, tugged the mattress to fall onto the floor and taken them both down atop it. They hadn't necessarily been trying to get pregnant, but they weren't avoiding it that night either. From there on out it was clear that they would just keep trying until something took, and then keep trying for good measure.
She wasn't sure if their efforts had paid off, but she had a feeling. Her hand pressed flat over her abdomen and she smiled. Until the test she might be pregnant. After the test they'd know better. So when he arrived she grabbed the bag with one hand and used the other to pull him to her for a deep kiss. "I'll have onion breath in a few minutes and I didn't want to wait to do that." She grinned and fetched an onion ring out of the bag with one hand, letting her teeth hold it and chew while she fetched the box with the test out and read the instructions. Seemed easy enough.
"Three minutes." Their lives could change in three minutes. She handed him the bag back. "Don't eat my onion rings!" And turned for the bathroom.
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The kiss was returned happily. It was atypically easy for him to stay quiet while she reading the instructions for the test because there had been a lot on his mind since the moment she had asked for it.
“Your onion rings, huh? What makes you think they’re not mine.”
When Leia turns she gets a light pat on the butt for her trouble. While she got to spend the next few minutes in the bathroom taking the test, he got to spend them pacing around and trying not to eat all the food she had asked for. He had one, because the bag was open in his hands and they smelled good, but he was feeling too anxious to eat more than that anyway.
She’ll hear him roaming around outside the door. Close, but not too close. Waiting to hear anything she might have had to tell him.
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At two minutes she knew she couldn't wait alone so she joined him and tried to stop his pacing. She snagged another onion right to nibble and wondered why minutes seemed to last forever when you were waiting on something.
"If it's not, we will just keep trying." For some reason it was easier to bolster him than voice her own fears. Not like they were exactly running out of time or anything, but they had gotten into all of this a bit later than normally people would. The friends her age with children had started ten years ago. How old would she be for her children Was there too old to be a mother?
She worried enough that her brow creased and her chewing ceased. Then, in the silence of neither of them talking, the timer beeped. She looked up at him and moved to retrieve the test.
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She literally brings him to a halt by walking in front of his path and reaching out for the food, but he doesn’t mind. He hasn’t ever recalled being the kind of person that paced around just to kill three minutes, but this was so far outside of what was routine for him, he gave himself a pass. They were about to find out if they were parents and he was just anxious about the result. If time felt like it was moving any slower, for him, it might seem to be going backwards.
“Yeah.”
He answered with a nod. She was right. They can try again. There was no reason to put so much pressure on this moment, so he tries to take the optimistic tack.
Even if he doesn’t feel completely optimistic, he feels like he should try in this case.“We’ll have lots of opportunities.”
When the timer beeps, longer legs help him beat Leia to the stick. He picks it up expecting it to tell him pregnant or not pregnant, as they are the only two outcomes for this test. The look on his face is nether joy or sadness, but confusion. She doesn’t have long to wonder why because he hands her the stick and murmurs ...
“What does two lines mean?”
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The timer went off and she swallowed hard, shorter legs losing the the distance to the bathroom and he reached the test first. Did he say two lines he turned and handed her the test and sure enough there were two vivid pink lines running through the little plastic window.
She set the test aside and gripped his arm, looking up at him with a soft expression, like she was going to break news to him that he might not want to hear.
"Well that means I'm going to have to work on my schedule, and you're going to have to figure out how to put a crib together." She broke her look with a wide smile and a laugh. In case it didn't sink in that she'd played him she put it more plainly. "We're pregnant!"
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Till, he realizes, she’s teasing him. He levels an unamused gaze at her because that’s a reflex that has come from spending extensive time with Leia. It fades pretty quickly when the meaning of the words sinks in.
“I knew it the whole time.” He says with a smirk. Unable to keep his arms away, he wraps his arms around his wife and draws her into a kiss.
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"You did not!" She laughed and let herself be draw to him, her own arms circling his back and holding him while they kissed. She took it slow and lingering and only pulled back when her stomach rumbled. "I think I'll have the rest of those onion rings now. I should have had you get me a burger too."
She'd have to call her doctor and schedule an appointment for the formal test, and to get started on whatever scheduling needed to be done to ensure the health of mother and child. But that could be done tomorrow. Tonight she had her husband, her baby and a bag of onion rings, all was right with the world.
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“I can go out again.”
Where a request to go out for something else might have normally felt annoying to him, only minutes after he got back, he felt happy to do so now. Even smiling with the offer. He was enamored by the idea of taking care of Leia’s wants and needs while she was pregnant.
Something that was probably bound not to last a whole eight more months, but hey, he was gonna soak up the feeling while it lasted.It’s not like he had even taken his coat or his shoes off yet.
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It should really be something more celebratory than a burger and onion rings, but that was what sounded good...oooh and maybe a shake. Right then it sounded way better than a steak and grilled vegetables.
She took a long moment to simply gaze at her husband, yes gaze. Not just look but enjoy and let herself soak him in. He was strong and smart and funny and he would be an excellent father. Well, they'd both need some work getting up to parenting speed but she could call her father if she needed pointers. He'd been a great dad and she'd never thought about any other parental role model but him.
"We're going to be someone's parents. Why does that sound so weird to say out loud?"
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They hadn’t always gotten along and he recalled plenty of moments of feeling frustrated with her for one reason or another, but anything she’d asked of him, he’d done it. She had a way of drawing people in to her fold and making them feel special — entourage, face in the crowd, someone in need of help, or even aloof pilots — he honestly believed she could connect with anyone if they gave her a chance.
He drew their threaded fingers up to his lips so he could kiss her knuckles. It was about the same time that she was just gazing at him and ... he couldn’t recall being so contented. Everything felt like it was just the way it should be, right now.
“Because we’re still getting used to the idea.” He murmurs, guiding them toward the closet and reaching up for a casual jacket for her to put on. He breaks grip so he can hold it open for her. “What do you think? Shake shack? Five guys? Or somewhere more fancy? Or less?”
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After things fell in her engagement he'd been there, he'd supported her and let her be mad if she wanted. She'd leaned on him, more heavily than perhaps was appropriate given he was involved. But she remembered late and sleepless nights where the only voice she could find solace in was his. She'd fallen asleep, lulled by the deep rumble of him talking about this or that. In retrospect she was not as respectful of his then girlfriend as she should have been, but the calls hadn't been anything romantic, just conversation that sent her off with dreams of clouds and open skies. That was probably when she fell in love with him now that she thought about it. He made her feel safe, even if perhaps not always comfortable.
Her husband was a remarkable man, and the look she gave him would probably be a mystery, but it was one she was willing to keep. "Five Guys has good shakes, right?" She turned and let him help her into her jacket.
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He suspected that was either going to entice his pregnant wife or turn her off completely. Maybe both. He could hardly claim expertise on a pregnant woman’s appetite. Han had just heard they were weird and unpredictable. He counted on that kernel of wisdom he had stumbled upon to be true.
When Leia had eased into the jacket, he gave her back his hand to hold. It was funny how she could seem so different in a matter of a few minutes and yet, how exactly the same they were as the moment he had handed her that test. All that had changed was that they knew she was pregnant and that made everything feel so deep and different now. It was territory that neither of them had ever been in before and that was kind of special.
With his free hand Han removed his keys from his jacket pocket and started walking them to the garage. They’d take the Charger, of course, while it was just them, but ... jeez, maybe they’d be talking about a family car soon.
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She liked to think she wasn't entirely predictable on her own, leaving something for him to guess about now and again. But maybe that was her vanity overriding her practicality.
Leia took his hand in hers, ready to head out for a low key celebration, this would be a story they would tell their children and grandchildren and somehow it seemed apt for them. No one would ever think a pilot and politician were so down to earth, but that was how they liked it.
"Ohh taking me out for a burger in a car like this Someone is looking to get lucky." She laughed and patted his arm as they neared his beloved car.
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Like his wife.It’s a good combination.“Driving out with your best girl for a burger and a milkshake? Can’t pretend I haven’t done that one before.”
The days of pulling up to a drive in and showing off your car will getting a down to earth feast had been waining when Han was a teenager, but he still carried a sense of nostalgia for it. It was probably something he would have thought of as a great idea for a date when he was seventeen and he’d had memories of those kind of evenings spent with other women. Often ending up with the kind of lucky ending she was implicating.
“Want to take the onion rings or leave them behind?” He asked, as he opened the door for her.
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Like her husband.It tends to be more satisfying."Is that how you impressed all those girls? And I thought it was that jawline all this time. I have clearly underestimated you."
She was younger than him, so the days of cruising were a bit before her time even for nostalgia, but she could appreciate the aesthetic. And the car itself was a beauty and maybe her husband also looked pretty handsome driving it. He seemed to look good in control, it suited him in many instances, though not all.
"We'll get fresh ones there." She wasn't going to worry overmuch about throwing away a bag of onion rings when they were about to enjoy their first dates as parents-to-be. She slid into the Charger and settled herself, this car was not going to do in a short while. He would keep it of course, but she might trade in for something more family friendly.
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The deadpan was so smooth it was tough to tell it he was kidding or not. He figured that most women don’t actually care about the make and model of their boyfriend’s (or husband’s) car, but that it was well kept. He supposed there was probably some subgroup of women that cared if the car was expensive, his wasn’t. It was just lovingly maintained for a long time by its owner.
Han closes her in and deposited the onion rings in the garbage before heading to the drivers side. Low-key dates always suited Han more than the upscale ones. He could wear a suit (he looked awfully good in one) and manage to be charming for a couple hours while acting as arm candy, but the whole time Han seemed like he would be happier having a beer and playing darts in some dive. Solo eased into the seat, turned the engine over and easing them out of the driveway and toward their destination.
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He took good care of himself and her, that had been the bar that she set for being impressed. After her previous relationship having that sort of trust that someone would be there for her, and she could trust them to have her best interest at heart. Han had always done that, he'd care d and been there for her when no one else could have known what shed gone through when she had to present a strong face to the world.
She trusted him now to look after them, and their child. A new life was starting for them now.She reached over and laid a hand on his knee."How did I get so lucky?"
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Anyway, his impulse to look out for Leia felt even more heightened than it had ever been, now that he knew she was pregnant. He supposed it made a lot of sense to drive differently if there was kid in the car.
“You made it easy, babe.” He murmured, eyes on the road. “I only had to spend about a decade trying to impress you.”
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She fully trusted him, in fact she felt safer with him than she had at any point in her career with all forms of personal security at her call. She just knew Han would never let her come to harm and that meant emotional as well as physical.
"I guess I should have mentioned you impressed me right off." She had noticed him, if not the first day they'd passed each other then soon after. "You were hard to miss."
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He didn’t doubt that she noticed him early on. He was handsome looking, he knew as much, and he towered over her. Han wasn’t sure how long it was before he was impressing her beyond the surface, though. Those were two very different things. Some of their earliest encounters had been marked by contention.
“Probably for the best that you didn’t.” He says with a shrug and a bit of a smirk. “I might have stopped trying.”
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Han had a way of worming his way into her thoughts, it hadn't been long before he had just become an assumed part of her life. The impact of that hadn't even hit her for years. She just knew she felt better when he was around, safer, even happier. And when she'd had hard times in her life she'd found him to be a comfort, they old banter and bickering was a touchstone for her.
"Glad you didn't. I think it worked out really well in the end."
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There was no point where Han in entirely in control of the car, but when they’re stopped at a signal, one of Han’s oversized hands settled onto her thighs. He squeezes gently to make his presence felt and then his hand quickly disappears again to take the wheel.
It only takes another two or three minutes for them to get to the restaurant and he’s content to spend most of that time contemplating how their lives are going to change. Atypically, he never even turned on music for the drive.
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She laughed but when they stopped for a light and his palm slid to her thigh she was reminded of just what sort of physical effect he had on her. His hand, ridiculously large in it's splay over her small thigh had swept her off her feet before, literally. And the moment passed as soon as it arrived and he returned to driving.
They hadn't talked much on the drive, something easy in their silence between banter. She was more comfortable with him than she'd ever been with anyone. She married the right man. A man willing to drive back out in a moment to take her out for burgers. She felt so much love for him in that moment, maybe it was hormones or maybe just the news, but she felt like she loved him now more than she ever had, and that was how they made life.
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He loved that about her too. He loved everything about her and he loved her so much, he felt possessed by it. And just when he thought he couldn’t love her any more, today happened. If he was mentally able to focus on anything for more than a couple of moments, it would bring him to tears. It was bound to, eventually.
He got up out of the car and was willing to open her door for her if she could stand to wait for him. Han wouldn’t bet on that.
“You want to just get the food and go back home or eat here?”
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He'd developed a talent or knack for knowing she she'd gotten in over her head or pushed herself too hard and needed to be told to step down. Han knew how to do that without hurting her ego or undercutting her own pride. He just had a way with her.
Just this once she'd wait for him, maybe it would be more in the future when she was round and big with the baby, but for now she was willing to let him be her husband and see to her. Something in this whole process letting her feel it was alright to be womanly and let down her guard a bit. Or maybe that was more hormones.
"Maybe grab it and drive over to the park, sit on a bench while we eat? What do you think?" They'd once had a date something like that.
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